AfterIcametoAmericawhenIwas12,Istartedgainingweight.BackinChina,myfriendsandIwalkedeverywhere.ButinNewYorkIwasscaredtogetlostinmyneighborhood,soIgotintothehabitofstayinghome.Ijustsataroundalldayeating.

　　BythetimeIwas16,Ihadstoppedgrowing,butmyweightkeptincreasing.Iwas5’2”andweighed155lbs.Peoplebeganteasingmebycallingme“fatguy,”“shortguy”and“bighead.”Idon’tthinktheymeanttobecruel,butthosewordsreallyhurt.Tellingthemtostopdidn’twork,soIusuallyignoredwhattheysaidortriedtoteasethemback.

　　Thetruthisthatitreallyhurtmyfeelings.SometimeswhenIseemyselfinthemirror,IhatemyselfandaskwhyIhavethisbody.Iwanttohaveahotbodyandahandsomeface.Beingshortandchubbymakesmesick,andIfeeljealousofmyfriends.

　　NoOneICouldTalkto

　　Myheartfeltlikeitwaslostinthedesert,waitingforsomeonetooffermewatertodrink.Ihadnobodytotalktoaboutmytruefeelings.Idon’ttalkwithmyparentswhendifficultthingshappentome,becauseIdon’twantthemtoworry.Theyworklonghoursandthey’reverytiredwhentheygethomelateatnight.

　　Iwouldn’twantateachertogetinvolvedbecauseIthinkthatcouldmakethingsworse.AndIworrythatifItalktomyfriendsaboutit,they’llthinkIcan’ttakeajoke.Theymightstopsharingthingswithme.

　　ShapingUp

　　ForawhileIblamedmyparents.Idecideditwasmymomanddad’sfaultthatIwasshortsincetheywereshort,too.

　　“Isyourheightwhatcausedmetobeshort?”Iaskedmymomoneday.

　　“What?Itisn’tmewhocausedyoutobeshort,Ifedyouhealthyfoods,”shesaid.“It’syourproblemthatyou’retoolazytogooutsidetogetsomeexercise!”

　　Ithoughtshewasprobablyright.Althoughmyheightwasoutofmycontrol,Ihadthepowertogetmorefit.SoIaskedmymomtosignmeupfortheYMCA,whereIcouldworkout.ShewashappyandtoldmeifIworkedhardatit,I’dseeresults.

　　ThefirstdayIwenttotheYMCA,Isawmanyperfectbodieswithsixpacksandbigmuscles.Ifeltashamedofmybody.ButIdecidedtolearntoswim.Ittookmetwomonthstoteachmyself；Ipracticedbyobservingotherpeople.

　　AsIpracticed,Icouldfeelmyselfgettingstrongerandfaster.IthoughtIwasfastenoughtotryswimminginthefastlane,butafterafewlaps,amantoldmeIwastooslow.Ifeltreallybad.Myfirstthoughtwasthatmyshortlegsandarmspreventedmefromswimmingasfast.Ialsotriedweightlifting,running,andthestationarybicycle.ButIdidn’tknowhowtousetheequipmentcorrectly.IfelthopelessandgaveupontheYMCA.

　　Istartedstayinghomeeverydaytoplaycomputergames.OntheInternetyoucancreateanavatar,orcharacter,thatlooksanywayyouwantitto.Noonecalledmefat,short,orsmall.Mylifeonlinefeltbetterthanmyreallife,andIgotaddictedtocomputergames.Soon,I’dgainedfivemorepounds.IrealizedIwassittinginfrontofthecomputertoomuch,tryingtoforgettherealworld.IdecidedtogivetheYMCAanothertry.

　　ATriumphantMoment

　　Sincethen,I’vegonetotheYMCAmoreoften,andevenmadeafriendtherewhohelpsmeoutwithequipmentthatIdon’tknowhowtouse.Healsotaughtmehowtokeepmyweightdown.NowI’mtrainingregularlyandIfeelgood.

　　Ithaspaidoff.Onedaymyfriendsaskedmetogoplaybasketballwiththem.Weseparatedintotwoteams.IwasthelastonetobechosenbecauseIdon’tplaythatw