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来自刘艺红的问题

　　【请问我的英语作文哪些地方还可以改的更好?辛苦您了!Nowadays,withthedevelopmentofsociety,peoplehavealotofpressures.Wheredoesthestresscomefrom?Whatshouldtheydotosolvetheseproblems?Parentsalwayswanttheirchild】

　　请问我的英语作文哪些地方还可以改的更好?辛苦您了!

　　Nowadays,withthedevelopmentofsociety,peoplehavealotofpressures.Wheredoesthestresscomefrom?Whatshouldtheydotosolvetheseproblems?

　　Parentsalwayswanttheirchildrentobethenumberone.Theyoffertheirchildrenvariousclasses.However,manychildrenhatemostoftheclass.What'smore,thechildrenlosetheirfreedom.Inmyopinion,parentsshouldgivetheirchildrenmorefreedom,letthemstudyindependentlyandmakethemdowhattheywanttodo.

　　Adultsalsohavepressure.Theyshouldcompetewiththeircolleagues.Itishardtogetappreciationfromtheirbosses.Theymusttrytheirbesttogetalongwellwiththeircustomers.Ithinktheyshouldhavemoretimetorelax.Andtheycanalsotalktotheirfriends,companionsandtheelderstosolvetheproblem.

　　Theelderhasretired.Itistimetoenjoythemselves.Howevertheyalsohavepressure.Theyhavenoincome.Whentheygetolder,theywillhavealotofhealthproblems.Andtheyoftenfeellonely.SoIsuggestthattheyoungcarefortheirparentsmoreandspendmoretimewiththem.

　　Thougheveryonehavemanypressure,itnotbadtousall,sometimesitwillmakeusstudyharder,workharderandcherishthechancewehave.Soweshouldtreatthepressurecorrectly.

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2020-06-1320:38

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廖帮俊

　　虽然说这确实是一篇写的不错的作文,但从句子结构组成上来说,略显单调,因为全文你几乎只用了一个句子框架,那就是主谓宾,你学过被动,学过成句吧高分作文需要句子来点缀哦我改几个试试看1.Parentsalwayswanttheirchildrentobethenumberone.Theyoffertheirchildrenvariousclasses改childrenisofferedvariousclasseswhichcanhelpthemtobenumberonebytheirparents.因为你分了三种类型小孩子大人老人,所以小孩做主语,表达更明确,同时把句子加长了2.Thecolleaguestudentsmustfindagoodjobwithsatisfactorysalaryaftertheirgraduation,Thecompanystaffmusttrytheirbesttogetalongwellwiththeircustomers.Facingthispressure,maybetheycanrelieveitbythewayoftellingtheproblemissuetotheirfriends.归类到哪一类人的压力问题是不是写清楚些更好呢.3根据前文结尾改一下更适合,你的重点应该是面对压力我们要找到合适的方式去减压,而不是压力本身的好坏,作文不仅仅是展示你的英语功底,同样是展示语言表达水平.好吧,借这个平台表达一下我自己的看法,不知道能不能帮到你,如果可以,我们可以相互学习.一起进步.