【请英语好的人帮忙改下这篇六级作文,顺便给估个分,Self-employmentInrecentyears,self-employmenthasevenbecomemoreandmorepopular.peopleusedtothinknewlygraduatesfromuniversityshouldworkintheinferiorsituation,an】

　　请英语好的人帮忙改下这篇六级作文,顺便给估个分,

　　Self-employment

　　Inrecentyears,self-employmenthasevenbecomemoreandmorepopular.peopleusedtothinknewlygraduatesfromuniversityshouldworkintheinferiorsituation,andthenclimbtheupperladder.buttodaythestereotypehasbeenshatteredbecauseanincreasingnumberofstudentsstarttheirownbusinessevenwhentheyareincampus.

　　Self-employmenthasnumerouspluses.tobeginwith,itcultivatepeople'sabilitiesbythemselves,andenhancetheconfidenceofdealingwiththedifficulty.moreover,peoplewillbemorematurethantheirpeersbecauseofthecompetitionofurbanjungle.inthesecondplace,itlessentheemploymentstressinsocietyandofferemploymentopportunitiestootherpeoplewhoareinurgentneedofjobs.

　　Inmyopinion,Althoughtherearemanybenefitsofself-employment.wecannotdenythatalargemanyofpeopleenduptheirownbusinessinaccomplishingnothing.

　　therefore,weshouldtakeself-employmentintoconsiderationwithmoresensibilities.makingtheirrightchoiceaccordingtoourpersonalinterestandmanagementability.