Thebiggestproblemisnothavingasenseofbelonging

　　Ithinkthatthisculture,asageneralrule,doesnotdorightbyouryoungadults.Forme,itwasthemostmiserabletimeofmylife.IfeltIhadtalents,andwasagoodperson,butIhadnoskillsthatmattered:norelationshipsskills,nothingIcouldusetosupportmyselfintherealworld.IhadnoplacetogowhereIfeltIbelonged,andwhereIfeltlikeIcoulddothingsthatmatteredtootherpeople.IjustfeltlikeIdidn'tmatter.

　　Well,it'sthirtyyearslater,andifanything,itseemstome,it'sgottenworse.Mydaughterisnowabouttoenterteendom,andIhopeIcandobetter,butIdon'tknowifthereismuchsupportinthisculture.Idon'tbelieveinlearningforlearning'ssake.Idon'tthinkitworksverywell,andIknowthatitfeelsuselesstoteenagers.Theywanttomatter,Ibeleive,justasIdid.Theywanttobeincludedinsociety,andtodoworkthatmakesadifference.

　　Eveniftheyhadaccesstosuchwork(anditcouldbedoneifwechangedoureducationsystem),theystillalsowantsomethingelsethatIthinkwefailtorecognize.Theywanttoconnect,desperately,tootherpeople.Again,I'mprojecting,forthisiswhatIwantedwhenIwasateen.Iwantedtoloveandbeloved.Peoplesay"hormones,"asifthatexplainsitall.Thatmaybeastart,butthereisamuchdeepercomponenttohormonesthatisaboutwhatitmeanstobehuman.Wewanttolove,andwewanttoprocreate,ifwetrulyloveourselves.

　　Iamnotsayingthisinareligiousway.Iamsayingthisasahuman.Sure,manyreligionsmayechothesamesentiments,butthat'snotwhereI'mcomingfrom.

　　Procreation,ofcourse,bringsuplotsofpracticalproblems,sowetrytodenyourteenagerstherighttodoituntilwethinktheycanhandleallthatisassociatedwithit.Butthat'ssilly,sincewecanletthemexperienceemotions,and,atthesametime,protectthemfromthenegativeconsequencessuchasdiseases,ortheconsequencestheyareunpreparedfor,suchaschildren.

　　Although,again,hereIthinkIhaveafewcrazyideas:teenagers,orperhapstwenty-somethingsareinthebestphysicalshapetobearchildren.Forty-somethingsareprobablyinthebestpositiontoactuallyraisechildren.Whatifwesupportedourkidsinhavingkids,butwe,theirparents,raisedthosekids?Bythetimewe'rereallywiseenoughtoparent,we'retoooldtohavekids.Whenwe'reyoungenoughtohavekids,we'retooyoungtoparent.Justacrazyidea.

　　Teensshouldbeexperimentinginlove,relationships,andwork,andweolderfolksshouldbeincorporatingthemintorealworldlivesasmuchaswepossiblycan,soastomentorthem,trainthem,andhelpthemfeelapartofthings,andvalued.Iftheyfeltliketheybelonged,Ibelievetheywouldbelesslikelytotravelaroundingangs,searchingforthingstodo.Theywouldbelesslikelytoengageindruguse,searchingforspiritualmeaning,orescapefrompain.THeywouldbelesslikelytoengageinrandomsexualactivity,fortheywouldfeelvalued,loved,andasenseofbelongingthatcenteredthem,andgavethemacentralroleinallourcommunities.Withthesethingsinplace,theycouldtaketheirtimetodeveloptalents,feelsecurethattheywon'tsuddenlybekickedout,andexperimentsafelywiththenewideasthatourwholeculturewillneedinthefuture,ifmankindistosurvive.

　　--简单点。。。

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