【从用词是否准确、语言是否流畅、单词句型是否丰富,单复数、思-查字典问答网
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  【从用词是否准确、语言是否流畅、单词句型是否丰富,单复数、思路清晰、语法有没有错误这几个方面入手,点评一下看看如果要是10分满分我能打几分?Asallknows,smoking,which,asalways,posingathreat】

  从用词是否准确、语言是否流畅、单词句型是否丰富,单复数、思路清晰、语法有没有错误这几个方面入手,点评一下看看如果要是10分满分我能打几分?

  Asallknows,smoking,which,asalways,posingathreattoourlifeandenvironment,isspendingagrossofmoneyoftheworldanddeprivingtherightsofpeopletobehealthy.

  Thepictureshowsthatthepercentintheholepopulationoftheworldisnearly20%---whiletheworld’snumberis5.8billion,thepartofsmokingis1.1billion.Andundertheastonishingnumberofitisthatcountlesslossofbothwealthandlives:astheimagesaysthattherearealmost200billiondollarslossawayand30millionpeopledieineachyear.Thedestructiveimpactsandthepainfulsufferingsitbroughtusevenlysurpassmostkindsofvirusdoes.

  Whileitoffersusthedatathatmakeusbeawareoftheconsequencesofsmokingareperilous,italsoprovidedthatthereisaliterallydeduction.Theoutputin1995waslessthanthelastyear—14.2billionpoundin1995while14.364billionpoundin1994.Itismainlybecausethefavorablepolitics,but,ithasnotbeenassuccessfulaspeopleexpected.

  Isuggestthatthewaywemaystoppeoplefromsmokingistojointheeffortsbyallsectorsofsocietytobanthetobacco,andadditionalmoreforcefulmeasuresshouldbeconsideredbythegovernment.

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2020-04-2419:22
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卢超

  首先你的开头部分的复合总句给人的印象还不错~先让人眼前亮了一些,至少我亮了一下,“Andundertheastonishingnumberofitisthatcountlesslossofbothwealthandlives”这句我总觉得有些拗口,你再斟酌斟酌...

2020-04-24 19:26:27
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