Letmetakeitdown

　　Anelephantsaidtoamouse,"nodoubtthatyouarethesmallestzndmostuselessthingthatIhaveeverseen."

　　"Pless,sayitagain.Letmetakeitdown."themousesaid."IwilltellafleawhatIknow."

　　为我所用

　　一头大象对一只小老鼠说：“你无疑是我见过的最小、最没用的东西.”

　　“请再说一遍,让我把它记下来.”老鼠说.“我要讲给我认识的一只跳蚤听.

　　Anoldsoldieroftentoldhisgardenabouthispastwarexploits.

　　"OnceImetwithadozenenemysol-diersandtookthemprisonerssinglehand-ed."

　　"Itwashalfadozenenemysoldierswhenyoutoldmethestorylastyear.Butwhyhaveyouaddedsomanymorethistime?"

　　"Yousillylad.Youwereyoungerlastyear,andIwasafraidtofrightenyou."

　　Whilewisitingthecemetery,asorrowfulcouplenoticedaheadstone,whichread,"hereliesalawyerandahonestnan"."lookatthat",thewomansaid,"money'ssotightthey'reputtingthentwoinagrave."

　　LawyerJokes:

　　Amanvisitingagraveyardsawatombstonethatread,"HereliesJohnKelly,alawyerandanhonestman.""Howaboutthat!"heexclaimed."They'vegotthreepeopleburiedinonegrave."

　　__________________________________

　　ThesearefromabookcalledDisorderintheCourt,andare

　　thingspeopleactuallysaidincourt,wordforword,takendownand

　　nowpublishedby

　　courtreporters-whohadthetormentofstayingcalmwhile

　　theseexchangeswereactuallytakingplace.

　　__________________________________

　　Q:Whatisyourdateofbirth?

　　A:July15th.

　　Q:Whatyear?

　　A:Everyyear.

　　Q:Howoldisyourson,theonelivingwithyou?

　　A:Thirty-eightorthirty-five,Ican'trememberwhich.

　　Q:Howlonghashelivedwithyou?

　　A:Forty-fiveyears.

　　_________________________________

　　Q:Whatwasthefirstthingyourhusbandsaidtoyouwhenhe

　　wokeupthatmorning?

　　A:Hesaid,"WhereamI,Cathy?"

　　Q:Andwhydidthatupsetyou?

　　A:MynameisSusan.

　　_________________________________

　　Q:Howwasyourfirstmarriageterminated?

　　A:Bydeath.

　　__________________________________

　　Q:Isyourappearanceherethismorningpursuanttoa

　　depositionnoticewhichIsenttoyourattorney?

　　A:No,thisishowIdresswhenIgotowork.

　　__________________________________

　　Q:Doctor,beforeyouperformedtheautopsy,didyoucheckfor

　　apulse?

　　A:No.

　　Q:Didyoucheckforbloodpressure?

　　A:No.

　　Q:Didyoucheckforbreathing?

　　A:No.

　　Q:So,thenitispossiblethatthepatientwasalivewhenyou

　　begantheautopsy?

　　A:No.

　　Q:Howcanyoubesosure,Doctor?

　　A:Becausehisbrainwassittingonmydeskinajar.

　　Q:Butcouldthepatienthavestillbeenalive,nevertheless?

　　A:Yes,itispossiblethathecouldhavebeenaliveandpracticinglaw.

　　A:Nicetomeetyou.

　　B:Nicetomeetyou,too.

　　C:Nicetomeetyou,three.

　　AnArtist

　　Anartistaskedthegalleryowneriftherehadbeenanyinterestinhispaintingsondisplayatthattime.

　　"Ihavegoodnewsandbadnews,"theownerreplied."Thegoodnewsisthatagentlemanenquiredaboutyourw