11FineforParking

　　Tellmeagain,"askedthejudge,"whyyouparkedthere?"Thedriverroseandansweredrespectfully(尊敬地),"Because,YourHonor,itsaid'FineforParking'"(note:"fine"hastwomeanings1)good2)paysomemoneyfordoingsomethingwrong.

　　2.Self-help

　　Iwentintoabookstoretheotherdayandaskedthewomanbehindthecounterwheretheself-helpsectionwas.Shesaid,"IfItoldyou,thatwoulddefeatthewholepurpose."(note:"self-help"hastwomeanings1)youtakewithoutpaying2)youcanchooseasyoulike)

　　3.ICouldn'tDigestSoManyApples

　　Doctorgravely(严肃地):"Ifyouwanttoenjoyalonglife,eachtimeyoufeellikeadrink.Eatanappleinstead."Patient:"Sorry,Icouldn'tdigest(消化）somanyapples."

　　4.IsThisaQuestion

　　Acollegestudentinaphilosophyclasswastakinghisfirstexamination.Onthepapertherewasasinglelinewhichsimplysaid:"Isthisaquestion?"Astudentwrote:"Ifthatisaquestion,thenthisisananswer."Thestudentsreceivedan"A"ontheexam.

　　5.ADollarPerPoint

　　Aprofessorwasgivingabigtestonedaytohisstudents.Hehandedoutallofthetestsandwentbacktohisdesktowait.Oncethetestwasover,thestudentsallhandedthetestsbackin.Theprofessornoticedthatoneofthestudentshadattacheda$100billtohistestwithanotesaying,"Adollarperpoint."Thenextclasstheprofessorhandedthetestsbackout.Thisstudentgotbackhistestand$64change.