Talkingclock

　　会说话的钟

　　Whileproudlyshowingoffhisnewapartmenttofriends,acollegestudentledthewayintotheden."Whatisthebigbrassgongandhammerfor?"oneofhisfriendsasked."Thatisthetalkingclock,"themanreplied."How'sitwork?"

　　"Watch,"themansaidandproceededtogivethegonganearshatteringpoundwiththehammer.Suddenly,someonescreamedfromtheothersideofthewall,"Knockitoff,youidiot!It'stwoo'clockinthemorning!"

　　一个学生带他朋友们参观他的新公寓,甚是得意.“那个大铜锣和锤子是干什么用的?”他的一个朋友问他.“那玩意儿厉害了,那是一个会说话的钟”,学生回答.“这钟怎么工作的”,他的朋友问.“看着,别眨眼了”,那学生走上前一把操起铜锣和锤子,拼命地敲了一下,声音震耳欲聋.突然,他们听到隔壁墙那边有人狂叫,“别敲了,你这白痴!现在是凌晨两点钟了!”

　　AGOVERNORvisitingaStateprisonwasimploredbyaConvictto

　　pardonhim.

　　"Whatareyouinfor?"askedtheGovernor.

　　"Iheldahighoffice,"theConvicthumblyreplied,"andsold

　　subordinateappointments."

　　"ThenIdeclinetointerfere,"saidtheGovernor,withasperity;"a

　　manwhoabuseshisofficebymakingitserveaprivateendand

　　purveyapersonaladvantageisunfittobefree.Bytheway,Mr.

　　Warden,"headdedtothatofficial,astheConvictslunkaway,"in

　　appointingyoutothisposition,Iwasgiventounderstandthat

　　yourfriendscouldmaketheShikanecountydelegationtothenext

　　Stateconventionsolidfor-forthepresentAdministration.WasI

　　rightlyinformed?"

　　"Youwere,sir."

　　"Verywell,then,Iwillbidyougood-day.Pleasebesogoodasto

　　appointmynephewNightChaplainandReminderofMothersand

　　Sisters."