雅思作文帮忙修改打分Asthetimepassesby,in-查字典问答网
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  雅思作文帮忙修改打分Asthetimepassesby,internationalityaffectsnotonlybusinessorotherareawefamiliar,butalsomusic,anoldartwhichhavemoreandmoreinfluencedbyhightechnology.Manyargumentsaretakenaboutwhichonehavemo

  雅思作文帮忙修改打分

  Asthetimepassesby,internationalityaffectsnotonlybusinessorotherareawefamiliar,butalsomusic,anoldartwhichhavemoreandmoreinfluencedbyhightechnology.Manyargumentsaretakenaboutwhichonehavemoreimportance,ourowncountry'straditionalmusicortheglobal-heard-music?Ithinkbothofthemarevaluable,andneithershouldberegardedhigher.

  Ontheonehand,mordenmusicisverycrucialtomordenpeopleinmordensociety.Anyonelivedinthisworldneedsneo-music,soasoursociety.Gangnan-style,thefamousmusiccreatedbykoreanstarwasplayedeverywhereontheEarth.Manyotherinternationalmusictransferwidely,too.Inthissituation,howcanonesaystheInternationalmusicisnotimportant?

  Ontheotherhand,traditionalmusiccouldstillplayabigroleineverydaylife.Firstofall,theoldartdonotmeetsciencewhentheyareborn,butitnotmeanstechnologycannothelpthem.Secondary,oldmusicisenjoyableastheyeverwas,audienceoftraditionmusicincludesbotholdandyoungpeople.Forthelast,tranditionalmusicstandsforthepastofthecountry,meansthehistoryofus,holdsthememoryofourancients.Intheconclusion,tranditionalmusicisveryimportanttous,althoughwestepinamordenworld.

  Soallinall,Ibelievetranditionalandinternationalmusiccouldinvolveinoursociallifefitful,boththetwokindofthemusicarecrucialtousandweshouldtraitthemfairly.

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2019-12-1322:09
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  Theessaywaswellwritten.Ifyoucompleteditwithinthetimegiven,Itwouldbewelldone.Youcouldachieveamark6+withit.However, therearestillroomstoimprove.Ihopeyoukeepworkinghard.Mark7isachievableforyou.Goodluck!

  Asthetimepassesby,internationalityaffectsnotonlybusinessorotherareawefamiliar,butalsomusic,anoldartwhichhavemoreandmoreinfluencedbyhightechnology.

  Asthetimepassesby,internationalityaffectsnotonlybusinessand

  othersectorswearefamiliarwith,butalsothemusic,anoldartwhichhasbeeninfluencedmoreand

  morebymordenhightechnology.

  Manyargumentsaretakenaboutwhichonehavemoreimportance,ourowncountry'straditionalmusicortheglobal-heard-music?

  Quitemanyargumentshavebeenraisedaboutwhichoneismoreimportant,ourowncountry'straditionalmusicorthemusicfromothercountriesthatisgloballypopularmusic?

  Ithinkbothofthemarevaluable,andneithershouldberegardedhigher.

  Inmyopinion,bothofthemarevaluable,andIdon'tthinkeithershouldberegardedassuperiortoanother.

  Ontheonehand,mordenmusicisverycrucialtomordenpeopleinmordensociety.

  Ononehand,mordenmusiciscrucialtopeopleofthemordensociety.

  Anyonelivedinthisworldneedsneo-music,soasoursociety.

  Mostpeopleliveinthisworldneedsuchneo-music,sodoesoursociety.

  Gangnan-style,thefamousmusiccreatedbykoreanstarwasplayedeverywhereontheEarth.

  Gangnan-style,thefamoussongandmusiccreatedbyakoreanstarhasbeenplayedeverywhereontheEarth.

  Manyotherinternationalmusictransferwidely,too.Inthissituation,howcanonesaystheInternationalmusicisnotimportant?

  Manyothermusicalworkdonebypeoplefromdifferentcountrieshavealsospreadwideinternationally.CanonesimplysaytheInternationalmusicisnotthatimportantuptothesituation?

  Ontheotherhand,traditionalmusiccouldstillplayabigroleineverydaylife.

  Ontheotherhand,thetraditionalmusiccanstillplayabigroleinourdailylife.

  Firstofall,theoldartdonotmeetsciencewhentheyareborn,butitnotmeanstechnologycannothelpthem.

  Firstofall,theoldartdidn'tenjoymuchofthemordentechnologyasitappearedearlier.Howeveritdoesn'tmeanitcanbe immunefromtheimpactofthemorderntechnology.

  Secondary,oldmusicisenjoyableastheyeverwas,audienceoftraditionmusicincludesbotholdandyoungpeople.

  Secondary,oldmusicisstillenjoyableastheyhaveever been,thepublicfavorersofthetraditionalmusichaveexpandedfromtheoldtotheyoung.

  Forthelast,tranditionalmusicstandsforthepastofthecountry,meansthehistoryofus,holdsthememoryofourancients.

  Finally,thetranditionalmusicstandsforthepastofacountry,presentsthehistorytousandbringsus thememoryofourancients.

  Intheconclusion,tranditionalmusicisveryimportanttous,althoughwestepinamordenworld.

  Inconclusion,tranditionalmusicisstillveryimportanttous,althoughwehavestepped

  intoamordenworld.

  Soallinall,Ibelievetranditionalandinternationalmusiccouldinvolveinoursociallifefitful,boththetwokindofthemusicarecru

2019-12-13 22:14:12
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