求牛人批改托福作文,Youhavebeentoldthatd-查字典问答网

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　　求牛人批改托福作文,Youhavebeentoldthatdormitoryroomsatyouruniversitymustbesharedbytowstudents.Wouldyouratherhavetheuniversityassignastudenttosharearoomwithyou,orwouldyouratherchooseyourownroommate?Usespec

　　求牛人批改托福作文,

　　Youhavebeentoldthatdormitoryroomsatyouruniversitymustbesharedbytowstudents.Wouldyouratherhavetheuniversityassignastudenttosharearoomwithyou,orwouldyouratherchooseyourownroommate?Usespecificreasonsanddetailstoexplainyouranswer.

　　单词数：360

　　Studentsseldomagreewitheachotherinsuchadebatableissuethatwhichisbetter,aroommateselectedonone’sownorassignedbytheuniversity.Whilesomeoneassignedbyofficialsmaybringonealotofsurpriseandanopportunitytogetintouchwithpeoplefromdifferentlayersandculturalbackgroundwhichprobablywillbroadenone’shorizon,asopponentsmaypointout,IwouldprefertoshareadormitorywithsomeoneIpickonmyown.

　　Theroommatechosenonone’sownwouldbemoreacceptable.Firstimpressionplaysasignificantroleintherelationship,andchosenone,asisoftenthecase,perhapshasleftanexcellentfirstimpressiontoanotherone.Sotheyaremorelikelytogetalongwellwitheachother.Bycontrast,ifsomeone’sroommateisassignedbyuniversity,whichisprobablyadisaster,therecertainlywillbeoffenseorevenaconflictbecauseofasensetodefendcalleddefensemechanisminpsychology.

　　Moreover,everyoneknowswhowillbetheperfectpersontobehis/herroommatebutuniversityknowsnothingaboutit.They,roommates,maysharethesameinterest,sharethesamegoaltofightfororevensharethesametimearrangement(schedule)which,nevertheless,theuniversitygetsnothingtoknow.However,onthecontrary,iftheyhavenothingincommonorsomethingincollision,whatwillhappen?Forinstance,forthehugegapofhabitsastudentnamedMaJiajuemurderedhisroommatewithaknifeduringthenightwhichhashappenedrecentlyinYunnan,china.What’sworseisthatquantitiesofsimilaraffairsarestillhappeningallovertheworldeveryday,theyindicatethatitisofharmstoletstudentssharearoomwithawrongperson.So,toavoidthiskindoftragedyIdoholdastrongbiasinchoosingmyroommateonmyown.

　　Althoughsomeopponentswouldarguethatuniversityassigningone’sroommatewillfurtherthecommunicationandbettertheharmony,ontheotherhand,Ibelievethatthereareotherwaystopromotetheseaspectsaswell.Inotherwords,thepotent

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2020-12-1719:42

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马乐弘

　　我把看不懂或觉得变扭的地方括起来了我是上国际学校的...有时候改的有点苛刻,请谅解..不一定是语法上问题,要听上去舒服.

　　虽然说写作才28分..不过我口语也28--还能算是母语的.

　　Thechoicebetweenchoosingaroomateontheirownorthroughthehelpfromtheuniversityhasbeendifficultformanystudentsindeed.Whileroomatesassignedbyofficialsmaybringonealotofsurpriseandanopportunitytogetintouchwithpeoplefromdifferentlayersandculturalbackground,InonethelessprefertoshareadormitorywithsomeoneIpickonmyown.

　　(probablywillbroadenone’shorizon,asopponentsmaypointout)这个不合适,很Chinglish...

　　Firstofall,roommateschosenonone’sownwouldbemoreacceptable.Sincefirstimpressionsplayasignificantroleinarelationship,fortwopersontochoseeachotherasroomateswoulddefinitelyleaveanexcellentfirstimpression.Bycontrast,ifaperson'sroomateisassignedbytheuniversity,whichmightturnouttobecatastrophic,wouldcertainlyinciteoffenseorevenconflictduetoasenseofdefiancetowardsunfamiliarity.(sensetodefendcalleddefensemechanisminpsychology完全看不懂...)这里还要一个举例.否则paragraph不完整.

　　Moreover,moststudentsknowexactlywhattypeofroomateswouldbemostperfectthem,whereasuniversitiesknowlittleaboutit.Theroommateswouldbeabletosharethesameinterests,ideas,goalsorevenschedulesofwhichtheuniversitywouldneverbeabletoplan.Iftwohadnothingincommonorhavingconflictsonaparticularideaortopic,whatwillhappenthen?Duetothehugegapofhabits,astudentnamedMaJiajuehasrecentlymurderedhisroommatewithaknifeduringthenightinYunnan,China.(这个例子太极端,不好理解,完全是吵架事故这类的...)What’sworseisthatthequantitiesofsimilaraffairsarestillhappeningallovertheworldeveryday,thusindicatingthatitisharmfulanddangerousforstudentstosharearoomwithawrongperson.Hence,toavoidthiskindoftragedyIdoholdastrongbiasinchoosingmyroommateonmyown.

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