Ourbedroomhasnofull-lengthmirror.Thereisoneatthecanteenentrance.Ialwayscherishasecretdesiretotakeaglancebeforeitatmyselfinabeautifulnewdress.However,eachtimewhenitcomestothefulfillment,Igetseizedwiths

　　Ourbedroomhasnofull-lengthmirror.Thereisoneatthecanteenentrance.Ialwayscherishasecretdesiretotakeaglancebeforeitatmyselfinabeautifulnewdress.However,eachtimewhenitcomestothefulfillment,IgetseizedwithsuchanuneasinessthatIliterallystagger(踉跄)away—backingoutatthecriticalmoment.

　　AttherootofitismylackofconfidencebywhichIhavebeenenslavedsincechildhood.Itembarrassesmeatthemildestpraise,crushesmyutmosteffortstosay“No”,andpreventsmefromaskingmyparentsforonecentmorethannecessary.Amongotherthings,lackofconfidencehaswormeditswayintomyloveofpiano.

　　Attheageof14,oneSundaymorning,Iwaswokenupbyaresoundinghymn(洪亮的圣歌).TracingthatcallofGodintoaneighboringchurch,Ifoundmyselfdeeplyattractedbythemelodyofapiano—somethingbeyondthemeansofmyparents.Tomakeitworse,peoplesayapianistissupposedtohavemusicintheblood,butIbelieveIhadnonefrommyengineerfatherandtechnicianmother.Fordaysonend,Ikeptthinkingofnothingelse.Ihadadream.

　　Itwasn’tadreamaftergold,whichmadesomeofmyclosefriendstoengageinbusinessasself-employedtradersorstreetpeddlers.Iwassometimesdazzledbytheirgoldringsorelegantnecklacesbehindwhich,however,Iseemedtocatchsightofskeletonsintheircupboardsandwasfrightenedawayfromthecrazeforfortunate.Outofdespair,Ikeptittomyself,lackofconfidenceweighingheavyonme.Icoulddonothingbutturntomydreamforcomfort,forcouragetoaimhighandwishfortheimpossible.IwasconvincedthatbeforeIcouldaffordanythingexpensive(tome,itwasapiano),Ishouldclimbuptheacademicladderashighaspossible.

　　Forthenextnineyears,Icarefullyheldbackmydesireformusictokeepmysearchforlearning,especiallyinEnglishstudies.MyeffortsweresorewardingthatIwentsuccessfullythroughhighschoolandcollegeinmyhometown.WhenIreceivedtheadmissionnoticeforaseconddegreecourseatafamousuniversityinBeijing,thenationalcapital,tearswelledupinmyeyes.IknewmycommandofEnglishwasmywealth,forImightmakeadealwithapianistwhowouldgivemeaccesstohispianoinexchangeforEnglishlessons.Andthathascometrue!

　　Tothisday,wheneverIlaymyfingersonthesnow-whiteke