快要考试了,求老师能帮我修改下雅思大作文啊,我上次6.5,7766,写作是6分,希望这次能提到7分一：Somepeoplethinkthatpollutionanddamageofenvironmentareresultingfromacountry'sdevelopingandbecomingricher,and

　　快要考试了,求老师能帮我修改下雅思大作文啊,我上次6.5,7766,写作是6分,希望这次能提到7分

　　一：Somepeoplethinkthatpollutionanddamageofenvironmentareresultingfromacountry'sdevelopingandbecomingricher,andthisishardtobeavoided.Towhatextentdoyouagreeordisagree?

　　Thereisnodoubtthatenvironmentchallenges,rangingfromthesmogincities,especiallyemission-inducedairpollution,toelectricpollution,arepresentedtous.Somepeoplelinkittothedevelopmentofacountry,andthinkthatthistrendisinevitable.Ingeneral,Iagreewiththeopinionexpressed.

　　Itisundeniablethat,unfortunately,itisalwaysthecasethatcountriestendtopaylessattentiontotheenvironmentperservationwiththeaimofmakingmoneythroughsurgingtheireconomy.Thismeansthatsomerichindustrilizedcountriesmaybeunlikelytosolvetheseenvironmentalchallengesbecausereducingtheseproblemsmayslowdowntheirindustrialproductionandlowertheirpeople'scomfortandconvenience,evenwhentheypossessadvancedtechnologyandfinancialresources.

　　However,reachingtheconclusionthatthistrendisinevitableisnotthesameasassumingthat"theseissuescannotbesolved."Ifanationcouldmakeuseofitssophisticatedtechnologyproperlyandeffectively,thentherewouldbevariousmeasuresthatcouldbeimplementedwhichwouldhaveahugeeffectontheseproblems.Ipersonallythinkthattotackletheproblemofairpollution,thetechnologyisalreadyavaliabletoproduceelectriccarsthatwouldbebothquiterandcleanertouse.Asfortheelectricpollution,arealltheneonlightsreallynecessary?Theyshouldbeturnedoffwhennotinuse.

　　Inconclusion,Iwouldsaythatthelong-termsolutionwoulddependongovernmentsrasingtheawarenessofthegeneralpublicthatallenvironmentalproblemsfundamentallyarisefromtheabusivebehaviorofallindividuals,andonacollectiveconsciousnessthateachindividualmustbeawareoftheimpactheorshehasontheenvironment.

　　对于这篇作文,我觉得自己在审题方面有些不清楚,不知道该不该写“怎样解决环境问题”这个部分；还有逻辑问题.