1）修改以下作文的错误；2）按英语六级的标准可得多少分；3）哪些地方可换成更好的表达；4更好的写作思路MyViewOnSmartPhoneNowadays,weliveintheinformationageandsmartphoneisoneoftheexcellentcre

　　1）修改以下作文的错误；2）按英语六级的标准可得多少分；3）哪些地方可换成更好的表达；4更好的写作思路

　　MyViewOnSmartPhone

　　Nowadays,weliveintheinformationageandsmartphoneisoneoftheexcellentcreaturesofthisage.

　　Smartphonelookslikeamobilephone,butinfact,itisacombinationwithmobilephone,cameraandcomputer.Wecantalkwithotherswhoarefarawayfromusandexchangeshortmessageswiththem.Ithasalargestorage-capacityandabundantfunctions,whichissimilartolaptop.WecansurftheInternet,readbooks,listentomusicandsoonbyit.Also,wecantakephotosandbeatifythembysmartphone.

　　However,smartphonestillneedtobeimproved.Forinstance,thespeedofsurfingInternetissupportedtobeimprovedanditwillhaveabettershockresistance.Inthefuture,Ithinksmartphonewillbesmaller.Maybesmartphonewilllooklikeawatchwhichismoreconvenientforustocarry.AlthoughsmartphoneiswidelyusedindevelopedregionssuchasAmerica,Europe,shanghai,Guangdongandsoon,it'saheavyburdenformanyfamilies.Sothepriceofitwilldecreaseconsecutively.Furthermore,itwillbeourstewardandthinktank.Itcantalkwithusandprovideaptadviceforuswhenweneed.

　　Thereisalongpaveforthesmartphonetogobeforeanewinventionisinventedtotakeplaceofit.