请大家帮我改下这篇英语作文WealthorHealthIfm-查字典问答网

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　　请大家帮我改下这篇英语作文WealthorHealthIfmychoicewererestrictedbetweenhealthandwealth,theformerwouldholdmoreattractionforme.Foronething,aslongasyouhealth,youwilltocreatewealthinyourhands.Bycontrast,health

　　请大家帮我改下这篇英语作文

　　WealthorHealth

　　Ifmychoicewererestrictedbetweenhealthandwealth,theformerwouldholdmoreattractionforme.

　　Foronething,aslongasyouhealth,youwilltocreatewealthinyourhands.Bycontrast,healthcanmakeyoulazy,becausewhenyouhasalotofmoney,don’tneedalotofthingsthatyoudo.Forother,whenyouhavealotofmoney,youwillbefamous.Someoutlawswillonyouforhismoney.Incontrasttothat,healthisthebiggestcost,onlyunderthehealthpremisecanhaveother.

　　Whatwealthhasachievedmaybeofmuchprofittomanypeoplewhilewhathealthhasfulfilledwillbeofgreatbenefittomylife.

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2020-08-1616:29

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马天才

　　你是高中生吧,我水平有限,尽量不改变原意,尽量用你学过的单词,只能改这个程度了,相互学习嘛.如果有高手看见的话,请帮忙改改.

　　文章整体挺好的,尤其是最后一段（我没有改动）,但是文中有一些语法错误,而且应该少用重复的单词和短语,我们还得继续努力...

　　WealthorHealth

　　IfIhavetochooseonefromhealthandwealth,theformerwouldholdmyattractionmore.

　　Foronething,healthisthefoundationofachievingwealth,becausewecancreatewealthaslongaswearehealthy.Whereasifyouhasalotofmoney,wealthwouldmakeyoulackofgoalsandyouwouldbelazyandhavenopowertodowhatyouwanttodo.Foranother,whenyouareinwealth,youmightbefamousandsomeoutlawswouldattactyouformoney.Incontrasttothat,healthisthebiggestfortuneandonlybykeepinginhealthcanweguaranteetohavetheotherone.

　　Whatwealthhasachievedmaybeofmuchprofittomanypeoplewhilewhathealthhasfulfilledwillbeofgreatbenefittomylife.